Arden Garden

Started off the day at Circular Quay with the sun finally showing its face during this seemingly cold winter. I met up with friends and we had originally planned to visit Cockatoo Island via the ferry, but we had some last minute plan changes due to time constraints. Instead, we chose to visit the Royal Botanic Gardens, which was having a beautiful floral display inside. I’m not quite sure why, but it definitely made me feel as if it were springtime.

There’s this big white building that you have to pass by to enter through. It was pretty neat. It had a little floating island in the centre of it. I’m not quite sure what is the purpose of this place, but it looks pretty sick.

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There were lots of different plants and flowers inside. Good thing it wasn’t too crowded so it wasn’t too hard to walk around to observe the flora and take nice photographs.

At the end of the day, my friends and I spontaneously decided to have some nice Thai food because we were incredibly hungry after walking all day and having had no lunch. Of course, the food was super delicious albeit being super spicy.


Small gestures of self-love

Here are the little things you can do for yourself and your well-being:

  • take a long, hot shower
  • read a chapter of that book you’ve been meaning to read
  • brush your hair
  • take a nice nap
  • cuddle your friends
  • declutter your room
  • paint your nails
  • draw your favourite plant
  • take a walk in your favourite park
  • have a cuppa hot tea
  • call your loved ones
  • do a lil bit of exercise at home
  • hug your dog


Gratitude and happiness

I’ve been bundled in a mesh of confusion lately over my life and my surroundings. Sometimes we grow up in an environment that is comfortable and makes us feel secure about who we are and what our lives will pan out to be in the future. But it’s so easy to just blank out or be numb to all the little things in life that should be appreciated more.

Growing up in a Christian environment through school, I’ve been taught about humility and what it means to be humble in the kind actions we take every day. However, I never really took it to heart. I just played the nice game and assumed that good things would come to me eventually. It’s a kind of hope I held onto because it allowed me to think that all the bad things that were happening in my life were simply impermanent and that it would all pass – that there are better days ahead. This actually plays into Buddhist beliefs of impermanence, which is ironic since I grew up being strictly taught Christian values.

Because of a lot of recent and new stresses in my life that has been ongoing since the previous year, I’ve begun to really try and take a step back in my life and be thankful for all the small things in the world that have come together to make me happier inside. So I’m thankful for all the people in my life who have made me a stronger, wiser individual who is still learning to grow, whether they did me wrong or not. I’m thankful for the privileges I have for living in a wealthier country. I’m thankful for this beautiful earth that I’m blessed to live in. And I’m most thankful for all the love that bonds humanity together.


Bops I’m in love with

These are the songs that are my all-time favourites amongst the plethora of music that I listen to on the daily. Sometimes we enjoy the beat of a song or the melody, and with another song, we appreciate it for its lyrics. These songs, however, are songs that I wholesomely love for its style, instrumental, singing or rapping, lyrics, poeticism, and meaning. I feel like they’re all very representative of who I am at the minute.

  • Eternal Sunshine by Jhené Aiko
  • Stay Young by Beeches
  • Freaks and Geeks by Childish Gambino
  • Still Into You by Paramore
  • Bonfire by Childish Gambino



Inevitable change

When you’re a teenager you think to yourself that after turning 18 or at least getting into your 20s, you stop changing so much as you solidify into an adult. Or least that’s what I thought. I’ve always been someone that just went with the flow and tried to do everything with my best effort. I tried my best and I was contempt with that because I believed everything would fall into place in the future. In a way, I still believe in this. I’m a very hopeful person and it’s what keeps me going every time big changes happen in my life or very bad things happen in my life. But in reality, your teenage years aren’t the only formative years of your life. I’ve found the changes during my teen years to be a slow, progressive period of my life where I felt that I had plateaued closer to my adulthood. I believed so hard that I had finally fit into the shoes that I’m meant to and I was so happy with myself. I thought I knew myself so well.


But alas, in the past 3 years, I had changed so rapidly in ways that I never expected. Even now I feel like I’m still rapidly changing and this change is good. It means that I’m doing something different every day, learning and growing to be someone I am comfortable with. 2017 has and is still throwing me so many surprises. I can’t deny that although I practise self-awareness quite a lot, I have lived my life with a lot of naivety. Naivety is something I feel that people misunderstand and brush off thinking it’s cute. But it has resulted in some negative outcomes for me. And it hit me hard. There have been many relationships that I’ve had to re-evaluate and I’m still re-evaluating some of them as of now – relationships that are beginning to crumble and are revealing themselves to be more than what appears on the surface. I’ve heard quite a lot that if you never fight in a relationship, it means you’re not close enough. Upon first thought, I thought it was silly. I said to myself, “if you don’t fight, doesn’t it mean that you have a very good relationship because you get along so well?”. For some people, never fighting can work out for them, but I’ve found that the initial statement rang true for me. No matter how similar and the same you think you are with someone, you will always have your differences. And these differences will create problems unless you talk it out openly and honestly, and make a compromise for the overall happiness of the relationship. But this doesn’t mean compromising all your needs to make the other person happy.

You’ve got to always be comfortable in your own skin first and foremost. You have to love yourself so much that everything else in your life comes after and is complimentary to your life. This is something I’m working on again. Recently, I’ve lost a lot of my confidence in who I am because of judgement from people in my life. I told myself that I should shut up and not be so talkative, and just listen. This tip-toeing of words and trying to be quiet, resulted in me actually becoming very quiet in social situations. It even affected how I presented myself in front of new people I met. I started to feel awkward and quiet, and sometimes just shy. I felt like I couldn’t be myself around people and had to cater to others to ensure I didn’t offend them. Amongst other things, this gave me a lot of stress. My mental health deteriorated again. However, I believe no challenge is a bad challenge! After talking with a dear friend of mine, they told me I needed to cut out these people in my life who are draining me and not doing any good to my wellbeing. I’ve begun to take a step back onto the path that will only bring me up to where I was. A place where I accept myself and my personality for what it is, and I am happy with myself.